Soul Awakening

I feel like it's taken me almost five years of being single and putting myself out there and dating to get to where I'm at. I'm not the same woman I was even a few months ago. 2023 is serving as an awakening. I would even say woke (since that word gets tossed around so much despite it's origin to racial and social justice) but seems appropriate for what I'm going through.

I'm simply tired. Tired of the constant swiping....

• The awful dates.

• The liars.

• The cheaters.

• The ethically non-monogamous.

• The men looking for "discreet" relationships.

• The men looking for a third to spice up their marriage.

• The men who cannot hold a conversation.

• The disrespectfulness.

• The ghosting.

• The last minute date cancellations. Or worst being stood up. (Over 50 times to date.)

• The men who claim to be looking for a relationship and start the conversations off with sex talk.

• The men who think it's ok to immediately comment on my body.

• The men holding a fish or a gun or their shirt up in their profile pics.

• The men who only post pics of themselves and can't bother to fill out anything about themselves or say "if you want to know just ask."

• The men who still want kids and are surprised that I do not at almost 48 years old (perhaps it's time to head back to high school sex ed fellas considering at my age there is less than 2% chance of me getting pregnant).

I could go on and on but you catch my point. I can literally count on one hand how many "good, decent" men I've come across in the last five years and still have fingers left. And you are probably wandering why I'm not with any of them. Off the top of my head I can think of four: 1. Jay and he passed away, 2. The Egyptian (we tried, we really did but we ended up having nothing in common and ended up becoming friends and still are), 3. The Surfer (well he moved across the country but we are still friends but also acknowledged we wanted different things) and 4. The last guy (as mentioned in previous blog, he had a family crisis but I am still fond of him and probably always will be). Pretty pathetic right?

In the last week alone, despite the fact I say I want a relationship in my dating profile, I've encountered FOUR men, who also claimed to want relationships in their profiles, who offered me sex up front and/or were talking about sex almost immediately (i.e. what's your favorite position, or I want to bend you over, or Cha Cha, it's been a while for you, I can take care of that for you. etc.). If I just wanted sex, it would be too easy, as you can see. But I'm at the point where I've decided I just don't want that and yes it's been a very long time and it will continue to be a long time as I explained to these men. I do not want casual sex. The next time it happens will be when I'm in a relationship, like last time. I'm not giving up my my body for some temporary person and temporary situation. Call me Sister Cha Cha.

And I've gotten beyond picky. I will ghost these motherfuckers so fast all they will see is my dust trails. That's right, I ghost. But never to someone who has been respectful, I tell them it's just not happening for me, no connection and wish them luck. I ghost and block or delete or unmatch these "men" who are disrespectful. They deserve it. I also have no patience for men who wait days to answer back. Or answer questions and respond to conversations with only emojis or "lol" (learn how to conversate, are we fucking cave men?).

My parenting situation has changed and left me with even less time to date, so unless someone seems like they are worth my time, they are NOT getting it anymore. I simply rather stay home alone and binge trash TV or better yet, go out with my awesome girlfriends to see some live bands.

Simply put, my standards are so high at this point it would probably take a fucking Greek God (or Norse God, hello Chris Hemsworth) to change my mind about being single. I know my worth and what I bring to the table.

"A woman who knows what she brings to the table, isn't afraid to sit alone."