Three month recap 2023 and the Ultimate Letdown

I've been trying this dating thing for the last two and a half months after a two-month situationship ended that left me heartbroken. But ya know, I put on my big girl pantaloons and put myself out there on the stupid apps and tried again. Of course, it gave me PLENTY of content to make fun of, but it was also exhausting. Between the two apps (Bumble and Facebook dating), I was getting between 50-60 new likes a day and 99% were BIG FAT NOS. It took a lot of weeding out but I'll give you a brief summary followed by the ultimate letdown.

There were only five men over the last two and a half months that got dates out of me. Two of the five even made it past the first date. Yes, I know shocking.

Bachelor #1 - The Local Guy Not much to say here except it should have been a red flag that he didn't want to chat on the app much and wanted to set up a date immediately within two days. But he was cute, very local and had a good profile. We met up for a drink, the conversation seemed force on his end, he looked like he was dying to get away from me and sure enough, the next day sent me a text saying we weren't compatible. Well duh. Next time, I need some more info before I give up my precious time.

Bachelor #2 - Delaware Guy Normally, if someone is not within an hour radius, it's an immediate no, but he was so cute - in a Colin Firth type of way - his profile was awesome, he was a sharp dresser and our conversations were great. We met up for dinner and it went South. He didn't know what he wanted at almost 50, it wasn't a relationship, he thought he wanted more of a companion to hang out with occasionally. Well that's not gonna work for me especially when you live two hours away. Had there been sparks and we were aligned on what we were seeking, I would have considered a long distance relationship. (Yes, two hours would be considered a long distance relationship to me.)

Bachelor #3 - The Cheater

We hit it off and were getting along splendidly, great conversations, great first date. He made plans for a second date and that day ignored my texts and ultimately ghosted me and stood me up. Found out via Facebook, we had a mutual friend who said, do you know why he got divorced from his wife he had four kids with? Because he openly cheated on her for a very long time with many women. And this was coming from a guy who was formerly friends with him.

Bachelor #4 - The Australian

Awwww as one of my besties would say. I really really liked the Australian. I wanted it to work. He moved here a few years ago from Australian. He legit looked like a rock star - tall (6.1), skinny, long, black hair, impeccable dresser - people stared when we were out as if he might be someone famous. He had that swagger to him. He was a well established artist in Australian and came to the US to open a gallery in NYC but wasn't quite there yet. We had multiple dates. I had so much fun with him but in the end we were not aligned. I knew he most likely wouldn't fit into my life with my kid and he made it clear he was happy he didn't have kids and didn't "want to raise someone else's kid." That kinda sparked a little riff between us because I wanted to remind him, my kid and I are a package deal. He made it clear a kid didn't really fit in his lifestyle (ok you KNEW I had a kid from DAY ONE). And then on our last date he made his closing argument when I asked him to go see a cover band with me. He said "NEVER." He said he would NEVER go see a cover band with me as he hates them. I told him, so you are telling me you will NEVER go do one of my favorite things with me, something I do pretty much every weekend? He repeated him, "NEVER." All I could say was "good day mate" and we went our separate ways.

Bachelor #5 - Jason

He gets no nickname because I can't even think of one fitting to fully express his douchieness. We had an immediate connection that he even said scared him a little. We had an unbelievable amount in common. We both loved Star Wars, comics, Kevin Smith films, Goldfinger, Less Than Jake, many other bands, Marvel. We're both former ball players and coaches. As my girl Jenny said, it's like you met yourself as the male version and I couldn't agree more. He even asked me to make him a promise, no matter what, we would be concert buddies because we both go to concerts alone and don't like doing it. We were both at the same shows last year for Goldfinger, Less Than Jake and more. I was also admittedly scared to meet him because of all the commonalties and worried what if there was no spark there. But I was pleasantly surprised that in person, the sparks were there. I really thought wow, I met someone finally. My girl Jenny was so happy for me. She was routing for him from Day one. He even asked me if I would consider moving to his area if this worked out eventually. Told me he was dating no one else and just wanted to date me.

Then after a few dates, the texts got weird, then there were no texts, no responses. I sent a text saying guess you ghosted me. No response. I waited a few days and I was so utterly confused and disappointed and sent another text. I said you owe me an explanation and that you said we would, at the very least, be concert buddies. I asked him if he was married or had a girlfriend or if I said or did something or if he DIED. He finally replied and told me, and I quote:

"You told me about your health issues that will most likely be with you a long time, probably forever. In the long run, I don't want to deal with them."

I was fucking floored. So hurt and disappointed. Yes, I had told him I recently had some iron infusions to help with my anemia due to my endometriosis (which he said he didn't know what it was). For the record, I'm NOT FUCKING DYING. He reacted as if I told him I had terminal cancer or something. My endometriosis and anemia do not affect my daily life. I work full time, part time, coach softball, am a single mom, go to the gym and hang out with my friends often. I manage my endometriosis on my own, privately, WITHOUT any medication. I've been putting off surgery because it doesn't really impact me but the anemia has made it an issue and now I must have surgery.

My response to him was:

"Wow ok. If you were actually serious you could have asked me more info and I would have given it to you. I have endometriosis and anemia, neither of which are serious or long term, i.e forever. They will both be resolved later this year when I have a hysterectomy. I'm not terminally ill and I manage both of them with no medication. Good luck to you in finding the perfect person with zero issues."

Oh it gets better.

He also told me he considered continuing the "relationship" to get to have sex with me (for the record we didn't' get to that point) but he "knew that would be wrong and it would always be in the back of" his head.

Again stunned.

And finally he asked if we could still remain concert buddies. Da'fuck?

I replied "You cannot be serious."

The end. He was blocked immediately after that. That was THE ultimate let down. To find someone you are so compatible with, have some much in common, have physical attraction and get written off because you have some minor chronic illness that is manageable and doesn't impact your life?

I guess thank you universe for removing him from my life before it went further??? But seriously universe, why are you sending me these dickbags???

I had deleted the apps a few weeks ago when I met Jason (not because of Jason just because I was done with the apps) but after Jason I'm not ready to go back on them for a long time, if ever. I just feel so incredibly tired and burnt out from dating. It legit feels like there is no one out there for me. Five years of this. And DO NOT SAY I will find someone when I'm not looking because every time I've taken breaks, sometimes for several months, I meet no one. (You wouldn't tell that to someone looking for a job right?)

What's left in the dating pool of 40 and 50 year old men are men who are damaged from bad marriages and relationships, men who want flings, men who want a 20 something arm piece, men with baggage I don't' want in my life (i.e. drugs, alcohol, etc.), men stuck on their ex-wifes or ex-(stripper) girlfriends, men who cannot communicate, men who cannot support themselves, etc.

I like my peace and I don't want it disrupted anymore by someone's son.