Does it make sense?
- chachacherry75
- Mar 29, 2022
- 3 min read
Does what make sense? That's the first thought you had when you read the title. Right?
I'm referring to something I saw in a guy's dating profile on some app.
He wrote, and I quote loosely, "Look at me. Look at you. Does it make sense?"
At first, I was like RUDE. This mofo is full of himself. But then I had an aha moment. Maybe he was onto something. Now looking at his pics and the rest of his bio, he clearly was full of himself and was clearly speaking of physical compatibility. However, what he said makes sense in a way....
Hear me out before you judge me for being shallow.
When I'm using the apps and swiping, I don't just look at their physical attributes. Yes, of course, it's the FIRST thing I notice, but then I immediately look to see where they live. They also must be geographically desired (preferably in Monmouth county or within a 45 minute range). I then start looking at everything else. How old are they? Do they want kids (dealbreaker if they do)? Does something in their bio peak my interest? Does their bio have anything in it at all - because pics are not enough to sell me.
I swipe with intent, like I date with intent. I'm looking for someone who makes "sense." I start looking at other things too and if I do match and we start talking I start asking questions to continue to see if they make sense. Will they like going to concerts with me? Are they ok with me having a kid (if not, another dealbreaker - we are a package deal bro)? Are they introverted and can't handle my extrovertedness? Will they scoff at the idea of going out every weekend to see bands because they are a homebody? Do they hate Disney World (another deal breaker)?
And there are other things too. About me. I wonder if men even look at my profile sometimes and notice some of the things I say or see my pics. I've gotten men who have swiped yes on me and their profiles say "please be at least 5'4" - how did you not see I'm 4'11? OOOO that's right because you swipe on everyone. Or if some super corporate white collar guy says he has no tattoos and neither should you - ok I guess you missed my pics with my visible tattoos or where it says I have over 20. Annoying AF.
So I get it, does someone make sense when you match up. It's more than just physical. Don't get me wrong. I will not swipe yes on a guy who I think is super attractive and we are not on the same playing field because YES I do have my insecurities. I also find it amusing that men don't think that way. Here's where I do get a little shallow. But I'm not going down that rabbit hole either and having you get all judgey on me.
So yea, that guy on the dating app made sense with his "does it make sense" question, although I doubt he and I were thinking along the same line. But I want someone to match and compliment my vibe, my energy and my lifestyle and personality. And if they like Star Wars and Less Than Jake even better.
No judgment here. For a relationship to work, you have to match (i.e. "make sense") on a bunch of different levels - from physical to psychological to intellectual and everything in between. Honestly, I don't think you are shallow in the least. I find you highly practical, and smart. You know what will and won't work for you. It's like a button down shirt. If one button isn't matched up to the right hole, the entire outfit falls apart. Keep doing what you're doing. I think you're the most bad ass of bad asses.