Picky, picky, picky...
- chachacherry75
- Feb 28, 2022
- 2 min read
I do acknowledge the fact that one of the reasons why I am single is because I'm selective. Or as many of my friends and family have pointed out - picky. And I think it's ok to be picky, ahem, selective. Why settle? How many people do you know settled in their relationships because they are scared to be alone? I know many. I'm not one of them. I rather be alone than with someone who doesn't check my boxes. Now granted...I have a LOT of boxes. There are some non-negotiable things I look for when I'm dating and I think most people would agree. But that's the boring shit (i.e. must be able to provide for themselves, must love kids but not want anymore babies, no criminal background, no drugs, nice teeth, etc.).
You don't come here to read the boring shit. Let me entertain you as Gypsy Rose Lee would say. I am well aware that I have some RIDIC boxes and things that immediately cancel out a prospect. And guess what? That's ok too. Because it's my business. My prerogative. Just like you are allowed to like what you like. I like what I like. I want what I want.
So we have the two lists of non-negotiables I'll refer to as A. The Obvious (above) and B. The Ridiculous (below) which I'm sure I'm forgetting at least a dozen things:
No cats (I'm allergic and I DO NOT LIKE THEM - sorry cat friends)
Must not have the same name of any significant prior boyfriend or a weird name
No goatees (full on circle around the mouth a la Ben Affleck in Chasing Amy)
Must like at least some of the music I like
No dad sneakers (I'm not saying they need to wear pumas or vans but it is preferable)
Have somewhat of a good sense of style (I mean I'm all about fashion so I want someone who takes pride in their appearance)
Be taller than me when I wear heels (come on ladies you know what I'm talking about and I'm only 4'11 so it's not hard)
Teeth in somewhat good shape (yes because once I did get teeth-fished on an app and the dude literally had NO teeth - ask my bestie)
Yes, I KNOW, some are ridiculous. If I really felt that I met the peanut butter to my jelly and he had a cat or a goatee, then I could definitely make a consideration but they'd have to be reallllllllyyyyyy good peanut butter. Is that too much to ask for? Some delicious creamy, peanut butter?
What are your non-negotiables?
I really dislike the word "picky." It just has such a negative connotation. I don't even like to call my kids "picky eaters," because it really just does come down to preference. Okay, it may be frustrating that my kids will eat bread and will eat cheese, but not if they are paired together as a sandwich, but they are allowed to have that preference. You are allowed to have preferences in your dating. You know what, you're allowed to have A LOT of preferences. It's not being picky, it's being practical. If you are going to be spending the rest of your life with someone, you damn sure better not settle. I actually don't even think your "ridiculous" list…