Shoot your shot. Or don't.

I started doing this new thing since I've been single again this year. I started asking guys out. It's not something I've done before (at least that I can remember). But your girl is getting old and tired of bullshit and games. It's not what society expects women to do. Society expects us to be all demure and wait around for the guy to ask us out (think of the scene in Grease at the dance with all the sad, little 30-something teeny boppers waiting on the bleachers for a boy to ask them to dance).

Well guess what. I'm not demure. You probably already know that if you know me personally. But surprisingly I still didn't want to ask men out. But I started to for two reasons.

#1 I don't want to talk or text for weeks before meeting up.

This mostly applies to men I meet on apps because I meet 99.9% of potential suitors on apps. (Yes, I still loathe them but it is a necessary evil as meeting someone organically is nearly impossible in 2022.) I prefer to talk for a bit, maybe a week or few days (if chemistry is good) and then let's meet up. Grab coffee. Have a drink. Let's not waste either person's time. Get it over with because we both know it's probably going no where anywayyyyyy. If he's not going ask, I am. I'm not looking for a texting buddy.

#2 I see it, I like it, I want it

I don't mean to be quoting Ariana Grande but she was onto something. There have been a few instances of guys I know that I'm "sort of" friends with that I've been crushing on and even though I try to flirt I'm not all in-your-face flirty so I just got to the point and asked them out on a date. Maybe they weren't thinking of me like that, and if I ask them out, maybe they would think of me like that. Or maybe they were and didn't want to ask me out (definitely NOT the case in my situations - but hey - it could be in yours) and were happy I did. So I shoot my shot and asked them out first.

The results...

33% of the time I got a positive response and a date. Seems like a pretty low number overall but it sounded better than 1 out of 3 which has been the case this year. No nicknames for fear of overall embarrassment of myself lol. I already feel rejected haha.

Bachelor #1

A social media friend for a few years but we have some of the same mutual friends including my bro. Asked him out, he said yes on a Friday I believe and would get back to me in a few days with availability. Within a few days saw he posted on social media "in a relationship." Never heard from him again. I don't count this as a yes.

Bachelor #2

A friend who I've been crushing on at least two years. I'm terrible at flirting with him because I've felt he's wayyyyyyyyyyyyy out of my league, but I said fuck it and asked him out. He didn't say yes, but he didn't say no either, just kind of left it up in the air. At the risk of further embarrassing myself, I let it go. But hey I tried. Again, not counting this as a yes. I think he left it up in the air because he didn't want to hurt my feelings.

Bachelor #3

A friend of a friend of a friend. They all tried to set us up two years ago but it didn't happen (this bro will get his own special post). We connect on a dating app. We remember each other. We hit it off. I ask him out. He said yes. We actually did go on one date.

So ladies, I ask you, have you tried to ask a guy out? How'd it go? Better than me I hope?

And gentlemen, have you been asked out by a lady? How did you feel about it? Did it emasculate you?

Let's hear your stories....

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