The Honorable Mention...

After I broke up with my last boyfriend at the beginning of November, pretty quickly the ghosts of men past came out once they saw the single status I suppose. One of them was "The Honorable Mention" - or HM let's call him.

I met HM back in May on a dating app, we went on one date, my head wasn't in the right place because Hoover was starting to come back into my life (ya know the ex who cheated for five months). We had a really nice first date but nothing came of it. In fact, I thought he ghosted me because he never responded back to my last text after our first date. More on that later.

But sometime over the summer he friend requested me on Facebook and followed me on Instagram. He sent a nice text at some point to ask what happened and said "I" ghosted him (which I was just like ummm but ok YOU actually ghosted me but didn't want to start so I kept that to myself). He proceeded to ask me to hang out because he thought I was a cool chick. But by that point I had just met my last boyfriend and was focused on him. I told him I just started dating someone, I was flattered but no thank you. He was cool with that and that was that. We decided to stay friends.

But as soon as I broke up with my boyfriend, he messaged me and asked me out. Now I wasn't quite ready to jump into another relationship but he was a super nice guy so I said sure why not. We had a really nice first date and kept in contact. I even mentioned hey so you know you ghosted me and showed our texts from May. He did the same and he actually had sent me a text I never got! So complete misunderstanding.

It was a few weeks before the second date because we were both busy with work and kids, and honestly I wanted to move very slowly. I saw no red flags at all. He just seemed like a genuinely nice guy - a workaholic but ok so am I. He was going through an ugly divorce for almost two years. He knew about the blog and made a little joke why I didn't mention him. I said well because you've been nice and it's saved for bad dates and assholes AND ASSHOLES IN DISGUISE. He said can I at least get an honorable mention? Oh you''ll get an honorable mention asshole in disguise.

Our second date was better than the first. He was really growing on me. He was cute, sweet, contacted me daily, liked Star Wars, Kevin Smith, good music. He even brought me cupcakes on that second date. The next day he asked me out again for a third date a few days later. Of course I said yes and the next two days lots of texting and calling and things seemed to be going in a positive direction.

Then day 3. He was barely responsive to my texts - one word answers. I called him at night and immediately he told me he may have to cancel our date the next date because of work and legal matters with his divorce. Then was going on and on and on about how busy he is. So finally I said are you too busy to date? Because I like you and think we have a lot of things in common. He said he liked me too but also wanted to point out he never wanted to get married again (even though that was NEVER something I brought up). He was just being wishy washy and by the end of the call he formally cancelled our date.

No word from him the next two days after weeks of daily texting. So finally I sent the "Goodbye" text. Basically told him I knew something as up with texts then the call then the cancellation of the date without rescheduling. I told him I wasn't really buying that he was just too busy and that I'm a big girl who's been rejected before. Wished him luck.

No response. I waited a few days and unfriended him and removed him on instagram.

I can't say I was really hurt but it was a little bee sting. I was more annoyed by his inability to communicate and be honest. But also because he perused me. Like why waste my time? I don't know what happened for everything to be going great and he did a complete 180. But as my girl SS told me, he showed me who he really is.

So I'm moving on but lesson learned....sometimes the bad guys come disguised as really nice guys. Don't let your guard down. Protect your heart. And if you don't like someone, be honest. Ghosting FUCKING SUCKS. Only cowards ghost. COMMUNICATE. I rather hear the truth no matter how much it hurts then be ghosted. It shows lack of maturity, consideration, respect and basic kindness. As my boy Joey Swoll says "you need to do better."