The “I Just Want Sex” Guy

I decided to start this series with the guys I encounter the most. Ladies, you know what I’m talking about and guys, if you are one of them please chime in, because you are seriously the biggest mystery to me.

The “I Just Want Sex” Guy is divided into two sub-categories.

A. The “Upfront” Guy

B. The “Wants a Relationship But is Full of Shit” Guy

The “Upfront” Guy

I appreciate the “Upfront” Guy. He’s honest. He says it right there in his dating profile. He’s not playing games. He wants a casual relationship and he’s not afraid to say it. If this is NOT want you are looking for then you avoid this guy. If you are, then more power to you, get yours girl, I’m not gonna judge. I have no issue with this guy. In fact, I applaud him and his honesty. There have been a few times in my amateur days that I mistakenly matched with them, and I’ve had them say upfront, hey, maybe you missed what I said in my profile but I’m just looking for a casual relationship. And I totally appreciate that and always thank them for their honestly. I’ve heard people call guys like this pigs or gross – but I 100% disagree. That’s what they want, and they are being honest about it.

The “Wants a Relationship But is Full of Shit” Guy

Now, this guy says they want a relationship but is full of shit, I have a HUGE problem with these guy. HUGE. Because they are liars. But within this category there are two types.

1. The ones that pull women in to only disclose it at a later time, could be after investing some time into chatting, or once they ask you out on a date, and the date has to be a “house date.” If you think you are going over there for tea and cookies, I got news sister – you are the tea and cookies – and you are serving it up to him on a silver platter.

2. The other ones are the worst type - they start dating you, you “think” you are building a relationship and trust, and then after a given amount of time, you have sex with them and poof! – they disappear. Girl – I feel for you. This stings. I know. They are awful human beings.

Here's what you can do…

If you know what you are looking for make sure you filter them out, if that’s an option on the app. Also, if they put they “don’t know yet” as the type of relationship they want, avoid this guy too. If you know what you want, than you should only talk to guys who know what they want.

Avoid the trap?

It’s been happening more and more to me lately and I struggle to understand this. It is beyond frustrating. I think I’m getting better at filtering these type B out but considering that 71% of people lie on dating apps (google that stat), it seems to be happening more and more. In the last two weeks alone, I’ve been asked out on 3 dates by 3 men, who ghosted me when I said NO to a house date and offered to meet them at a bar.

I’ve also “talked” to another 2 men who BOTH had “wants a relationship” in their bios. One came out three messages in and said “I don’t want just sex, but I don’t want to pair off” (ok so you want friends with benefits? casual?).

The other one I spent three days texting back and forth, thinking wow, we have so much in common, we are getting along so great. Then poof, mid-convo he abruptly stopped texting. So I messaged him and asked if he lost interest. The response I got (lame) was “it’s not me, it’s you, I am just looking for something sexual.” I asked him why did he have he was looking for a relationship in his profile then? He said because he was open to a relationship, but wanted it based on sex only.

You know what I say to all of them? BOY BYE. And you should too.

#dating #datingover40 #datingapps #typesofguysseries