What's Your Type?

Let's face it. Whether or not you want to admit it, everyone has a "type" when it comes to what you are attracted to. When someone says I don't have a type, I say nah...deep down inside we all have certain things that we are attracted to when it comes to dating and love. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Having a type is just your preference for what attracts you to someone. Most people immediately think this means something physical, something visual. "Oh Carrie, only likes men over 6 feet tall with dark hair" or "Samantha loves model-esque looking men." (Yes, I am using my friends from Sex and the City.) And this is definitely true. Let's be honest. The first thing you notice about someone is how they look. If you are in the business of looking for love, your brain is going to either be attracted to them or not - physically - before you decide to pursue them. I *hate* when people say looks aren't everything. Yes, that is damn true, because I've met many physically beautiful men in my life who couldn't hold a convo or I had nothing in common with. But realistically, physicality is the FIRST thing. And it's ok to be attracted to a certain type of person physically, because that's what YOU like and it's YOUR preference. It's not to say you won't be attracted to someone who isn't your "type" either.

But physical appearance also goes a little deeper. It also can be someone's style you are attracted to. But what I think people forget, because I get this ALL. THE. TIME. is that a type can go beyond physical looks and style. Your type is also who your soul connects to. What makes you say wow, I like this person, I want to get to know more about this person. What makes you all tingly inside and gives you goosebumps.

When people say oh, you have a type, YES, YES I DO. And so does everyone else. Most people think when they say this to me, it's because my type is a problem and hasn't worked for me, and they only see it surface level of what THEY "think" is my type.

For the record - I am physically attracted to men with beards (i.e. Charlie Paulson from Goldfinger) or pretty faces but beardless (i.e. Mike Herrara from Goldfinger and MXPX), and LOADS of tattoos, who dress sort of like me - rocker/surfer/skater. But it goes deeper than that. I MUST have something in common with them. We need to have deep engaging convo. I am drawn to creative types, especially musicians (I think this is deep rooted in the fact my father was a professional drummer and MUSIC is literally my LOVE language). Also, a love of Star Wars and Kevin Smith films helps.

But I have dated many men who didn't fall into my type. And guess what? It never worked. We just didn't have

enough in common to sustain a relationship. It always irritates the hell out of me when someone says maybe your type is the problem. No, my type isn't the problem. My problem is that there are shitty people out there no matter what they look like or what their interests are.

So don't feel bad about having a "type." You know what you like. But also be open to exploring other kinds of people out there. You never know.

This sums it up perfectly, Tina B. Tessina, psychotherapist and author of Love Styles: How to Celebrate Your Differences, says "The person who is really your type has some common interests and ideals, good character, and is trustworthy."

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